Brand New Me Day 1:
Was yesterday. I didn't exercise and I did eat poorly. The day started out semi-okay...I ate a bowl of Lucky Charms with my son in the morning and then had half of a chicken breast for lunch. That's all I had because it was prepared already, and it was easy to grab and eat at my desk. Dinner was pizza, of which I had about 4 pieces because I was so hungry. Snacktime rolled in around 8 o'clock and we made deep fried cauliflower, which of course you have to dip in cheese sauce. I also drank two glasses of grape Kool-Aid with it. Something's telling me to CRASH AND BURN before I even get started on my new improved self. WHATEVER! Today was too crazy busy to even add anything else, so I had to skip it. The plan has been moved to Monday, where the Brand New Me plan shall re-boot.

I'm also really wishing winter to be over. I'm sick of wearing two layers every day, boots instead of shoes, wishing my heater in my car was super powered, slippery roads and bad tires, and avoiding the grocery store because who wants to push a grocery cart out to their car in subzero temperatures and a snow packed parking lot? Not this Momma! I'm looking a little like Old Mother Hubbard here...

I'm considering running a 5K, which is huge because I've never been a runner. I would have under 3 months to prepare, which seems scary but should be enough time. I have so many changes that I want to make in my life and this is exactly what would boost me in the right direction. I need to eat better, sleep better, drink more water...
So here's what I vow to not do:
-I will not lose my balance on the treadmill and be shot off the back. At least not at the Y.
-I will not eat foods that cause gas before going to the Y. Especially particular brands of veggie burgers, which do this to me.
-I will not drive to the Y in my workout clothes but wearing slip-on shoes, as I have in the past.
-I will not walk past the bicycle rows when my legs are jelly from exhaustion and trip over someone's cord because I can't lift my feet, therefore erasing all of their workout info. Luckily the gal was nice to me afterwards...
-I will not worry if my workout pants are a little tight at first. They WILL get bigger. (or maybe it's the other way around? The butt gets smaller???)
-I will not get discouraged when my pre-teeny bopper daughters pass me up and become specks in the distance ahead of me.
-I will not wait all day to get my workout in without planning it, and then have it get too late.
-I will not give up this time. I will be a runner for life.

Now GOOOOOOOOOO!

Submitted a humorous how-to piece just moments ago...and now moving on to:

The Name Game


Rules: It's harder than it looks! Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real. . .nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.Have Fun!!

1. What is your name: Penelope (my pseudo name)
2. A four Letter Word: Puke, which thankfully it's been a long time since that has happened to anyone in my house! KNOCK ON WOOD! KNOCK ON WOOD! Oh yeah, we don't believe in superstitions.
3. A boy's Name: Paul, as in Bunyan.
4. A girl's Name: Pamela as in the actress from Mork & Mindy.
5. An occupation: Police, as in Po-Po, as the teenagers are referring to them.
6. A color: Peuce, which sounds awful but is quite pretty.
7. Something you wear: Pretty face, according to my middle child.
8. A food: Pot Roast which makes my home smell good and my son cry.
9. Something found in the bathroom: Paint for my face to disguise it for #7.
10. A place: Parking lot of Wal-Mart at night when it's dark and you're pushing your cart as fast as you can to your car, then you have to look under the car to be sure you won't get grabbed, get in and lock the doors as quickly as possible, and shoot out of there like a rocket!
11. A reason for being late: Pants were too tight, what could I do?
12. Something you shout: PLEASE STOP FIGHTING! (kids...doesn't usually work)
13. A movie title: Planes, Trains & Automobiles! Steve Martin, John Candy....can't go wrong.
14. Something you drink: Port wine. But I haven't, I don't think? I should research this one. Maybe later tonight.
15. A musical group: Pussycat Dolls. My daughter hates it that I actually like some of their songs. I'm supposed to be a MOM and listen to John Denver or something, I guess.
16. An animal: Parrot, which my son wants really, really bad and reminds me of a joke I once heard...
17. A street name: Pine Street, cuz it's so fun to name streets after trees!
18. A type of car: Porche, which I will one day drive.
19. A song title: Push It...push it real good! (or the other version...push it, push it-to the limit, limit..) (GREAT. Guess what I'll be singing all night now!)
20. A verb: Pluck, as in my eyebrows, which I shall now go do.

Things that gave off an invisible unpleasant aroma today:

1. Bronchitis of the middle child.
2. Lack of large payments owed to us in the mailbox.
3. $45 Co-Pay at the clinic.
4. Spam faxes.
5. Telephone Solicitors and people who thought my work line was a fax line and never figured it out. Let's hope they don't try again tomorrow.
6. Forgetting that I didn't have eggs before mixing up the meatloaf and creating meat mush instead.
7. Gas prices rising again.
8. My hair. Super bad hair day because I tried a little something new. It didn't work.
9. Dead fish floating around in the fish tank. This one would maybe not be an invisible unpleasant odor...I didn't check.
10. Trying to get my food processor to work for a half hour before I figured it out.

Things that gave off an invisible pleasing aroma today:

1. Answered prayers.
2. Spending the day with my Bronchitis Kid and making her laugh.
3. Seeing my beautiful, sweet, loving sister. She is the other me.
4. Eating an egg roll from the grocery store deli and drinking a Mt. Dew with it.
5. Making my son laugh when I told him he had to really try not to kiss his sister cuz she is sick. The kid hates kisses, so it was funny.
6. Buying Mika songs on itunes.
7. Facebook.
8. Remembering to take my vitamins.
9. Getting a car wash and not having my doors freeze shut.
10. Trying to tell my daughter what I had put in my salad and instead of saying cucumbers saying coupons. "I cut up some coupons and added them to my salad..." Mmmmmmmmmmm.
11. Crossing things off my to-do list.

Hello 30 degree ABOVE zero weather! It's soooo nice to see you again! We've missed you so. Ah yes, hello Fellow Minnesotans! Of course this is shorts weather! We're going through a heat wave, so definitely trade the winter coat in for a hooded sweatshirt! This is how we have been conditioned. This is what 50 below does to us after awhile.

Hello idiot ankle biter of mine! Stop urinating in your kennel and on my rug and get your teeny tiny butt outside to do your disgusting business. Especially now that it's not below zero. And by the way, stop barking every time a car goes by. And would you PLEASE just come to me when I call you? What I had hoped for, in you, was a dog that would play fetch and love to come jump on my lap. What you've given me is a dog who freaks out on my husband; barking like it's major stranger danger with a big bloody knife each and every time he comes home. Yeah, he has no knife, he feeds you daily, he's actually good to you. AND HE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BEGIN WITH! It was I who announced we would be getting you. It was he who protested until I told him he was NOT the pet nazi and I WANTED TO GET MYSELF A SWEETIE WEETIE LAP DOGGIE!

I'm soooo thrilled to hear that your breed generally lives around 13 years. I look forward to 11 more years of pee pee, poo poo, ear butchering barking, chasing you down if I want to put you outside or pet you, army crawling under beds to retrieve you from the darkest, farthest back corner when you cower and hide because surely we are about to eat you! If it weren't for three children who love you deeply, I'm sorta thinking that you would be adopted into another family. Just sorta. Don't tell the kids I said that, ok?

I have written two novels and am halfway through my third. My first novel was very rough and while it is done, it will have to be majorly edited and I've put it away for now. I once heard that a first novel should never see the light of day. However! I absolutely love it and with some polishing it could be a great mainstream book.

My second novel is contemporary romance and I have JUST submitted it to Firebrand Literary. Now I pray that they like it while I continue to work my way through my third book, which is more contemporary women's fiction. I'm having a blast writing this one!

I can't wait to finish it, though, because novel number four is really wanting to be written!!!!!!!! It will be another contemporary women's fiction and super duper fun!

Temperatures in my fine state today have been hitting a numbing 50 below!

So, my twelve year old daughter wants to wear a thong. Ummm, NO. Not as long as I'm buying your underwear and/or you're living in my house. Whichever comes later. Come to think about it, not until you're married. In fact, never. You can never wear a thong because you are my precious little girl and shouldn't even be thinking of thongs.

So, my ten year old daughter really should start wearing a bra. Not a big old bra with cups and all....just something to sorta smooth her out and protect her. However, the thought of this makes her cry, for real. It's horrifying to her and she hates it with all her might. Ummm, HONEY. It's not really an option, you WILL get used to them, and they AREN'T as bad as you're thinking they are.

I've got one daughter wanting a thong, one daughter not wanting a bra...one really wants to grow up and do whatever she wants, and one has told me she wishes she didn't have to. These girls are only 2 years apart! I think I'd like to make them both 11 instead. Put 'em right there in the middle where they're okay with the bra, but a thong isn't even on their radar yet! Is that possible?