Hello 30 degree ABOVE zero weather! It's soooo nice to see you again! We've missed you so. Ah yes, hello Fellow Minnesotans! Of course this is shorts weather! We're going through a heat wave, so definitely trade the winter coat in for a hooded sweatshirt! This is how we have been conditioned. This is what 50 below does to us after awhile.

Hello idiot ankle biter of mine! Stop urinating in your kennel and on my rug and get your teeny tiny butt outside to do your disgusting business. Especially now that it's not below zero. And by the way, stop barking every time a car goes by. And would you PLEASE just come to me when I call you? What I had hoped for, in you, was a dog that would play fetch and love to come jump on my lap. What you've given me is a dog who freaks out on my husband; barking like it's major stranger danger with a big bloody knife each and every time he comes home. Yeah, he has no knife, he feeds you daily, he's actually good to you. AND HE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BEGIN WITH! It was I who announced we would be getting you. It was he who protested until I told him he was NOT the pet nazi and I WANTED TO GET MYSELF A SWEETIE WEETIE LAP DOGGIE!

I'm soooo thrilled to hear that your breed generally lives around 13 years. I look forward to 11 more years of pee pee, poo poo, ear butchering barking, chasing you down if I want to put you outside or pet you, army crawling under beds to retrieve you from the darkest, farthest back corner when you cower and hide because surely we are about to eat you! If it weren't for three children who love you deeply, I'm sorta thinking that you would be adopted into another family. Just sorta. Don't tell the kids I said that, ok?